I have been trying to work to sort out the mess that social services have caused in my life; i am now going to have to pay to go to a daycentre, either that or spend another day in my house.. well technically two as they have also stopped my going out on a friday as well pretty much causing me to become a virtual prisioner in my own home!

Luckily i had a small windfall in the fall of Payment Protection Insurance that allowed me to pay off my loan so i can use the money that i would have used for that to pay to go to a day centre. I have found one that is for much younger people than the one that i used to go to so it should be a much better experience and i will at least get to socialise for part of the week.

I started attending a local craft group which is not for the disabled back in novemeber i really enjoy going there there have been a few hiccups as they arent able to administer my morphine liquid and the disabled toilet isnt really that great to be honest but i have been finding ways around it as the people are really nice there. I am just trying to get out the house as much as possible and trying to give my fiance as much respite time as i can!

The process for direct payments is starting to become a headache, there is so much paperwork, i have called about 35 people on the Independant Living Association Website who are supposedly looking for work and not had much response, it is physically and mentally exhausting, apparently the next step; (my adviser tells me) is that they will put an advert out with my job description and have people contact me who are interested, so i will sit and wait i suppose now..

Social Services want me to have a Personal Assistant by the 12th but to be honest and according to my ILA adviser, its not going to happen but the Social Services woman said if it doesnt then i have to find an agency to do it in between until i find someone.. they are so caring.. i have been trying to find a back up agency for when my Personal Assistant goes on holiday or is sick.. well so far two of them have cancelled.. and have had to make other appointments... and the other one actually turned up today i was shocked and expecting another cancellation!

I am beginning to wonder if everyone goes through this! it seems such a headache!!