Hiding the Pain

Everyone around me seems to have long gotten over their coughs and colds but i am still suffering badly, i am feeling the cold so badly at the moment, i am constantly tired and aching, more than i usually am with my fibro. Its a struggle to get out of bed which is why i havent written anything sooner; i have my laptop in bed with me now its the only thing keeping me sane, that, my kitten and my fiance.

Simon keeps asking me about how much pain i am in he said he can tell i am in agony from the look upon my face, i am really struggling to hide it but i dont want him to see how much i am suffering. I am so tired, if it wasnt for the pain i feel like i could sleep forever but each time i start to drop off the pain rudely wakes me up.

I have been taking tramadol but it doesnt seem to be touching it, i dont know if this is because the pain is actually much worse than before, it feels like it is or whether i am building up a resistance to the tramadol. I just need something to stop the pain.

I have made an appointment to see my GP (Doctor) today, i did it purposely when Simon is at work cause i dont want him to be there when i tell her home much i am suffering. My neurologist nurse upped my Topiramate a few weeks ago but that doesnt seem to be touching the pain in my head. I feel like i have taken backward steps and i dont know what to do.

I am a little concerned about seeing my GP as i know she knows nothing about fibro, when i went last time and told her about the pain in my hands and knees she tried to tell me i had juvinile artrithis, but i suppose Gps cant know about every single medical condition that is about. I usually see a different Gp maybe this one will know something and be able to help me, or maybe she will be worse!! if thats possible!

I am hoping that the GPs have recieved the letters from the Neurologist and the Neurologist Nurse by now though so that i can be refered to the Rheumotologist and also to the Physiotherapist with my Fibro, and get the ball rolling forwards. I can but hope!

Although it sounds odd i am looking forward to going outside for a short time to go to the doctors i have barely left the house over the past few weeks as i have been feeling ill and i am starting to feel a little cabin feverish.

Simon had to work all through when he had his cold, i really felt for him, he was quite poorly, but he had no choice but to work as he is still unable to get a permanant job and is working agency, if he takes time off work then he doesnt get paid, if he doesnt get paid, then there is no money for rent or bills or food.

There is a glimmer of hope for a job for him which is good but i am not going to get my hopes up too much as they might get shattered.