August 2007

Several weeks later, I have barely left the house the pain is driving me further into madness I don’t know how much more I can cope. I am admitted again and told again its Migraines, they don’t listen to me, they don’t seem to care what I am going through so after a couple of days of paracetamol and no relief I discharge myself. If they are doing nothing I might as well lay in my own bed. I try to deal with the pain the best I can, I have become quite restless at night from the pain.

I have taken to sleeping in the day time because that is when the sun is out; even through the curtains which are thick the pain hurts so much. Also my fiancé needs to sleep at night, if I sleep at night with him, he barely sleeps through my constant tossing and turning, he needs his sleep he is working to provide for both of us, yet he is in final month of university studying nursing I am worried how much pressured this is putting on him.

I am trying to get on with on with my life but its hard, i feel so ill at times i can barely move for the pain. People, friends and family look at me passing glances; they dont think i am ill because i dont look ill.

August is suppost to be a month of celebrations, its my birthday and my sisters wedding, i try my best , i show my face enough so people are happy; but the sound and the lights are unbearable my face has become a mask of smiles so people cant see what i am going through inside.